Carlton CC – Season Overview 2010-2011

I would like to start by thanking you all for coming tonight
I hope the season overview does not bore you, though I fear it might
I shall start this short story from the end of last year
When Tommy Taylor stood down, with a sniff and a tear.
I took back the reigns, It felt like I had sold my soul,
Though to be fair I would do anything to bowl
The winter had been and I couldn’t wait to start
But wait what is this Tetley? New signings? You tart,
Makbull Mullah, Good Player, Left arm spinner you say,
Great with the bat, he hits it a long way
And so with heavy heart I threw him the ball
With Williamson, Woolsey and Page wanting the call
The doosra, the flipper makbull had the lot
Ball after ball after ball was a dot
I started to think hey this guy can play
Then he threw me his kit and with that was away
Speaking of signings Murph Walwyn was here
Best all rounder in Bradford league is all I was told
Then word got around and people wondered how old?
Murph wasn’t in all honesty still in his prime
Though im sure he was great back in his time
We were left with a slip who could not even see
And he didn’t bat very well – all down to his knee
We started quite well with a win or two
Then went to batley where we really played poo
There was panic in Rothwell and Tetley wouldn’t budge
We wouldn’t win anything if we didn’t sign rudge
So into the transfer market Carlton did go
Would this have an impact well we would soon know
Buttershaw came and were quickly dispatched
3 4s and 4 sixes they were now on rudgeys patch
He smashed them for 60, easily done,
Then tore out the opener before hed got a run
Rudgey was to prove a valuable asset
And once again to tetleys knowledge we were all in debt
Roberts and Taylor, the next two to shine
A trip to East Leeds where they had a great time
Roberts smashed sixes and fours everywhere
Whilst Tommy was still more interested in his hair
Then he awoke and he started to smash
He turned to Roberts and said these bowlers are gash
Im batting at eight and im smashing it like this,
Pagey batting me at eight? he just takes the piss
And so Tommy was promoted to three
And for most of the season he proved he should be
Milking the bowling and using the shovel to score
As well as picking up victims galore
Twenty seven in total seven stumped 20 caught
But he would not brag no tommy aint the sort
Three hundred and forty five runs for the team
But wait till next season when they hit the seam
Tetley will have him back batting at eight
When he keeps getting bowled right through the gate
Last season Roberts top caught and top scored
But not this year I think he said he was bored
He still helped with runs and his fielding is great
Apart from at ossett where he kicked his hat over the gate
The ossett crowd laughed and shouted with glee
Roberts looked down and thought oh no not me
I do not drop them I always see them clear
But he went on and dropped at least three this year
We went to Liversedge and another big game,
They were unbeaten and with rudgey out injured our bowling looked tame
It looked like we were heading for defeat as our batting fell apart
But step forward Chris Kippax who showed some real heart
A gutsy half century that got us enough
And then a bowling display that made it so tough
Wickets for kippax this season 38
He was a bowler the batsmen found hard to negotiate
A ton against moorlands was his best innings to date
But his bowling is what the most of us rate
His mouth is what most of our opponents hate
Dale Woolsey it was who shone in the next game
I do not think rudgey will ever be the same
He watched from the boundary as dale continued to strike
When asked to celebrate jonny stated on yer bike!
That is the worst display of fast bowling ive seen
And he's taken all the wickets so im guna be mean!
He ended up third with the wickets he took
But this season with the bat he didn’t have much luck
However it seems Dale really can’t sing
Yet he still gets the title of karaoke king
The season half way point came away at the thornes
The wicket was wet and the pitch playing slow
The batsmen made it hard, god did we tow
Only thanks to Stevie, who scored 38
Did we post a score they failed could not create
We threw the ball to Guns as we stared defeat in the face
Another 2 for 1, this was becoming commonplace!
Guns had already done this once before
Away at liversedge so he knew the score
Bowl it straight and pitch it up
Advice given to jonny and dale, but never took
Another of tetleys signing gaz o neil was to us
Good bowler, great player, on a sixpence he does
Gary o neil was a name I had heard
Then he refused to bowl I thought am guna have to have a word
Yet Gaza proved to be a very good player
And performed very well at the end of season all dayer
James coops once again proved our most consistent slip
But his batting had suffered he had hit a dip
He dropped down the order he was none too happy
I thought oh my god we're guna have to change this lads nappy
To be fair to the lad he scored some important runs down there
But jesus, my god, what does this lad wear
He proved that he could get important runs
Whilst ever that is the case, he will bat above guns
More signings we made as the season moved on
In fact we went and signed Wyndy, what a moron
He came with an attitude that said I am great
But jesus he went and only averaged eight
He certainly talked, I sometimes thought is this kid sane
And then to moorlands and Nads Hussain
I will find where you live and kill you in your bed
And then I will bury you under your shed
Last game of the season and Wyndy stayed out
But Wyndy wake up WAKE UP we did shout
Asleep in the toilet asleep outside mex
There wasn’t a chance of this guy getting sex.
A final word for my partner steve coop
Who keeps trying to get me in the MCC loop
He always scores quickly and keeps my head on
Until I swipe at the wrong one and then s**t im gone
I'll leave it to stevie he will guide us through
But a play and a miss and shit he has gone too
Another solid season just short of five hundred runs
Stevie next season you need to make some tons
There were others that played and I thank you for that
Jack Rich, Busby, Closey, Daz Read and of course Tets
He only played once and fifty he gets
He is the boss and his text message says
Do it my way or ill sack you in days
He will say it doesn’t matter your skip it’s up to you
But if we start losing games ill organise a coup
He is the master I am only the puppet
But never a keener guy have I ever met
He only wants what is best for the lads and the club
And when victory is assured, to get in to the pub.
I love that I signed for carlton to play
And I look forward to next season, and wrenthorpe away
I hope that we take heart and spirit from this year
And go into next season with minimum fear
A great group of lads who im sure will do well
Especially with new signings, ooo Tetley please tell??
Defeat at home to Batley was the hardest to take
At 5 for 4 it looked done and dusted
Then came number 8 and s**t we were busted
There is a party at Batley and your all invited
Ill never forget that, never.

When we look back we will think that game cost us the title, but my own belief is that losing away at Methley was the one. This was the only game we lost to another team that did not finish in the top three. And despite the fact that we were promoted there is just that thought in the back of my mind that we should have been there as champs. I wana congratulate everyone that played in our side this season on what was a great team effort. It was great that we signed Rudgey and Gaz. Rudgey taking 46 wickets in 12 matches was a great effort for us and obviously kip was as tight as ever all season and finished with 38 wickets as well as playing a couple of super knocks with the bat. One hundred against Moorlands in the cup but the one that stands out for me was the 50 at Liversedge that won us the game. Rest of the lads chipped in as and when. It has been a great season with a great set of guys and I really hope we build on this next year and consolidate our position in the top division. I want to thank all the guys that put their effort in to this club that does not involve just the playing. You are the people that keep the club going and make it what a great club and one that I wish I had played for for many years more than I have.